You Are Worthy of Love
Updated: Mar 24
Hello beautiful people & welcome back to Cali Creates! This is the first Podcast/Blog combo that I've worked on and I'm super excited to see how it goes. If you would prefer to listen, rather than read, click here to find all the ways to listen!
Anywhooo, today we will be discussing the topic of LOVE. More importantly, that you are WORTHY of LOVE.
I think it's important to talk about this topic because I feel many struggle with this and I, too, have personally dealt with feelings of being unworthy of love. I've been single for a while now and for valid reasons, but I still took to blaming myself and feeling unworthy instead of realizing I wasn't ready for a relationship at the time.
Whether you are in a relationship, single, married, whatever it may be, your status does not define if you feel worthy of love or not. It doesn't matter what your relationship status may be. Regardless!
You Are Worthy of Love.
However, you will never feel worthy of love or believe someone else truly loves you until you look inward and figure out why you feel the way that you do.
You could even be in a relationship right now and still feel that you are unworthy of love from your significant other. We do this to ourselves because somewhere in our past, someone decided to treat us like crap and we chose to believe that we didn't deserve love and compassion. And, that is just not the case.
So, today we are going to dig into this topic, tear it up, and get to the root of the issue of why we feel unworthy of love.
My goal is that by the end of this blog post you leave happy, smiling, and understanding that you are worthy of love.
Let's get started.
So, how does this happen? How do we get to the point where we feel unworthy? What happens in our life to make us feel these feelings?!
There are so many potential reasons as to why we get to this place in our life and below I want to breakdown a few reasons why you may feel this way:
1) You Made A Mistake
We are ALL human. We ALL make mistakes. Maybe you fell into addiction? Maybe you cheated on someone? Maybe you did something that you feel was so terrible and irredeemable? Whatever it is, it does not matter! Your mistakes do not define who you are. Your defining moment is what you decide to do AFTER the mistake. None of us are perfect and we will continue to make mistakes, but what matters is the actions after. You have to be able to forgive yourself and move forward. Don't continue to wallow in self-pity over past mistakes. You Define You. The only reason you feel unworthy is because you have deemed yourself unlovable. And, this simply is not the case. If it's a mistake that is holding you back, I urge you to take a hard look at it and work on yourself. Pick yourself up, move forward, and make the choice to do better. If you continue to prove those past mistakes wrong and move toward a better you, those past mistakes will no longer define you.
2) You Can't Seem to Get Relationships Right
Maybe you just feel like you can't seem to get any relationships in your life right. Whether that be a friendship or relationship, you just can't seem to make it work. Have you ever been in the dating pool and kept feeling like you were meeting incompatible people? No matter what, it just felt like everyone had something wrong with them. If that has ever been the case for you or if you just can't seem to get relationships right, it is time to look in the mirror. In my case, most times when I felt that way, I wasn't truly ready to take on a relationship in my life. Whether the struggle is mental health related, stress related, or maybe it's because of my third point, you don't love yourself, either way, it is time to look inward and start working on yourself. That way when someone great comes along, you are ready and don't miss your chance. Maybe you are already with that person, but you still feel unworthy. In that case, similar to the other, you need to get to the root of why you feel this person could never love you. Because trust me, they are more than capable of providing you that love, but you need to let them. Push through that feeling, because you ARE worthy of love.
3) You Don't Love Yourself
This one hits me hard every time I talk about it! I've been there. I have truly been through times in my life where I just did not love the person that I was. I had so many who loved me, but I just couldn't give that love back to myself. And, this is so, so important. In the famous words of Ru Paul, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?!" That's right. You have to love yourself first, in order to EVER be able to truly accept love from someone else. If you don't love yourself, no one is ever going to be able to love you enough, because YOU don't love YOU. You won't believe them when they say it to you.
So, how do we move forward? How do we begin to love ourselves so that we can in turn love others and accept that love in return? It's time we break down the walls and barriers holding you back from loving yourself and receiving love in return.
Now, I think it's important to note that not all issues holding us back from loving ourselves are self-inflicted. Maybe you are like me and have dealt with a sexual assault. Or, maybe you have been cheated on or been in a toxic relationship. While these are not actions taken by you, they still are issues that need to be dealt with in order for you to move forward in life.
That being said, below are a few ways I was able to move forward in my journey to self-love and I hope this helps you start yours:
It's not always easy to get to the root of the issue alone. That is why I always suggest therapy as a good suggestion for literally everyone. Talking to family and friends is great, but sometimes having an unbiased opinion will help you so much more. When you are able to talk to someone who doesn't know you, who doesn't know your situation until you tell them, and who is literally there to only help you, it is much easier to believe their feedback and to do the work. Once you are able to get to the root of the issue and start working on it, I promise you will feel so much better.
2) Practicing Body Positivity
This was big for me. I needed to start praising my body, instead of attacking it. I started to target areas of my body I didn't love as much at the gym, and guess what?! I don't hate them anymore. I, now, also look at my body and notice how much improvement I've made, rather than focus on how I have not met my goal yet. The fact that I am getting there and continuing the journey onward is ENOUGH.
3) Acts of Self Compassion, Self-Care & Self-Love
We are often told in life to be compassionate toward others, but what about giving compassion back to ourselves? Self-Love and Self Compassion are HUGE. When you start to love yourself, you will notice a massive shift in your mood and your overall days. It's honestly such a surreal experience when this weight is lifted. You don't get mad at yourself over every single mistake you make, because you know that you are a good person and you know that you are only human. Start being nice to yourself, because you deserve it! We all deserve a break every now and then.
Congratulations! You have made it to the end of my Ted Talk. 🤣😅
I hope this has been helpful for you and I hope you have found some things you can work on. My goal in the beginning was to have you leave here happy, smiling, and working toward a better you. I truly hope you have met this goal because you are so, so worthy of love.
And, don't ever forget it.
Until Next Time,