Updated: Mar 24
Let’s talk about Goals!
So, who else is with me on New Year’s Resolutions?! Well, if you’re anything like me, you buy that brand new planner for the first of the year (it’s so cute, right!?). You have all intentions of using said planner because 1) it is cute, 2) it is going to keep you hella organized, and 3) there’s a section in it for goals!!
Everything is still on track… You find some time to write all your info in it (you take your time because what if you lose it?!), your passwords (that you can never seem to remember), your emergency contact (because for some reason this is in ALL planners), and lastly your important dates & GOALS. New Year, New You, Right?! Let’s do this!
You write all your goals. You close the planner. You go about your life.
Then, BOOM. It’s 6 months later, it’s hot AF outside, wooo summer! You open your planner and have a reaction kinda like this one below.
Now, this isn’t everyone. Maybe, someone has already found the secret that took me 27 Years to discover. You heard me, TWENTY SEVEN years. Aka, it took me until this past year (insert crying laughing emoji right about NOW).
So, what was my problem up until 2018? Why did it take me forever to get to where I am today?
VISION + MINDSET
The problem was I was writing down all my goals (which were really great goals!) and then closing my planner. I went about my life and for the first few months followed through on some goals, but eventually this dwindled off. Why? Because, my goals were not my vision & my mindset was not completely there yet.
Goals are great! They are essential if you are looking for growth and change in your life. However, to be the best you, Vision is Key. And, what comes with Vision…? GOALS. But, this can’t be done backwards. You can write down all the goals you want, but if it doesn’t match your Vision & Mindset… well, you can count out at least half of the goals you wrote down.
By this point you are probably saying, “Okay, Okay, Okay JESSIE, I get it, Vision is key. I need a healthy Mindset. It all has to match, got it. How do I do that?”
So, how did I get there?
Well, to put it frankly, through a lot of unmet goals and a lot of mostly BLANK planners. I honestly got a little mad at myself. I would think “Why are you even buying these planners?!” “You are better than this!” “Why did you forget about that?? That would’ve been a great thing to accomplish!”
After that inner battle commenced, I kept thinking about what would get me motivated and what would actually keep me consistent with following through on my goals. I continued to think on this until I started a new job while living in Baltimore. Long story short, I had been in a toxic work environment and this drove me ultimately to leave my career of 4 years with one company. This new place, while it wasn’t my dream job had a HUGE impact on my life emotionally. I didn’t even realize the amount of trauma I went through in my everyday life until leaving my previous company. Regardless, my boss at the time had an idea, vision boards.
I actually giggled when she first suggested it, because the idea of a fun activity at work was so foreign to me. She wanted us in our own time to create a poster board with our dreams, goals, and fun facts about us so that she could get to know us better.
This was exciting for me! I kept thinking “I have tons of goals! This is great! I’ll be able to knock this out in no time!”
But, then, it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. I worked in branding, so vision statements were kind of my thing. I realized I had no vision. What did I REALLY want in life? How could my goals benefit my overall Vision? That is LITERALLY what I did as a JOB. But, I hadn’t done it for myself. How Silly!!
It’s easy to forget about what we really want and, more importantly, need in our lives. We get distracted by the hustle and bustle of life. It’s a whole lot simpler to help out a friend in need, than to help yourself, right? Think this is something you may identify with? Not sure? Well, see if you can answer my question below.
What is YOUR Vision? (Not anyone else’s but YOURS)
When I couldn’t answer that question, I started by writing down everything that was important to me in my life. Things I truly couldn’t live without. Once I had that, I moved into goals, I wrote all those down. Afterward, I took a step back and looked at everything I wrote down. This is what I had. (Complete with all the cross-outs – LOL)
I realized I knew exactly who I was, but my issue was loving and embracing that person. It was a deep-rooted realization. I thought I loved myself? But, really, I just mostly liked who I was and continued to let my self-proclaimed flaws take over. These flaws brought on by an unfortunate case of bullying at a young age. To me, I was just an ugly, fat girl at heart, who no one could ever really like. I’m not telling you all of this so you feel bad for me, not at all. This is about growth and where you find growth is in the deepest, darkest places within your soul. Kinda crazy right? In order to move forward, you have to dig into what is holding you back.
For me, it was the bullying. For you, it could be something else. What I realized was, I had been depressed for a really long time about that. I didn’t even realize that it was depression, because I was able to distract myself from it so much. To be clear, I was always a happy person! To a stranger or friend, I projected nothing but confidence and joy. However, on the inside, I was constantly judging my every move from what I said to what I wore to what I did. All of it. It was time to take my life back!
So, I created my vision statement, because there was no way in hell I was letting those bullies from 15+ years ago dim my light any longer.
“To love who I am, outwardly & inwardly, no matter what. To take risks and to find balance. To be me & to be the best person I can be within my mind, body, and soul.”
Now that I had my goals and vision, I was ready to create my vision board.
Once I was able to see the goals I had previously written down visually, it clicked. We had them posted on the walls as a constant reminder of what we were working toward. And, imagine that, progress.
I have since left that job in Baltimore, because I ultimately decided my heart was in Memphis with my family. Ironically, when I made my vision board I kept feeling like something was wrong, like I wouldn’t be able to complete my goals without having my family by my side. Nine years and three states later, I made my way back to Memphis.
My Vision was now clear and my goals set. I moved home, started a new job and continued my life. In the craziness of moving, I misplaced my vision board and figured it was okay because I knew what I needed to do now. Right?
Two Months ago, I was going through boxes trying to find a pair of shoes, guess what I stumbled on?
You guessed it! My Vision Board! BOYYY, what a feeling. THE PLANNER THING. AGAIN. HAPPENING.
Emotionally, I was good and still maintaining those goals. But, I was nowhere near the goals I had set for my health and routines. I wasn’t waking up early or working out nearly as much as I had wanted. Part of me, of course, knew this, but I was too wrapped up in my move that I had lost sight.
So, I marched into my room, put my vision board on the wall, and stared at it. What was the disconnect? I shouldn’t have to see this vision board every day to maintain my goals and to be consistent. (Even though it is a nice sight!) This was a life change for me, it should be second nature, right? It wasn’t and that’s because my Mindset was a little stuck at the time.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” I LOVE this quote. It’s all about the way you look at life and the challenges that come your way. It was way easier for me to say “The move was tough and I’ll eventually get back into working out, but I just don’t have time.” Than, for me to say, “Hey, I’m in a new city, I’m pretty busy, but I’m sure I can fit in some work outs after work before dinner.”
I was half way between a Fixed and Growth Mindset.
Part of me was excelling at my goals and the other part of me was making excuses. Around this time, my close friend, Katie, was on a mission to redefine fitness and start her own business. She was fearlessly running to achieve her goals (literally and figuratively). Within weeks, she launched her business, Fitzrunner. I was so inspired! Her persistence kick started what I consider my change over to a complete Growth Mindset. Because, if you know Katie, she EMBODIES a Growth Mindset. She had a full time job just like me, but still found time to start a business, run marathons, and overall be awesome!? What was stopping me from doing the same?
You can have all the goals that you want, but without the right mindset, you will continue to find ways to push them away. Trust me, changing over to a growth mindset won’t happen overnight. But, consistency and results will help keep you on the right path.
So, next time when you are leaving work and say to yourself “I’m too exhausted and have too much work to do.” Make a conscious effort to think differently. As hard as it may be, switch the script! The more consistently you say YES to challenges, you will begin to live your life more fully. You will start to cross goals right off your list. And, you will ultimately feel so much better.
That being said, I am here for you on this journey! I am still learning to love myself every day and to keep my mindset positive. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need someone to listen. No road is an easy one, especially when you feel like you are dragging excess baggage around, so free yourself and be the best you can be. Because you are WORTH it & you are LOVED.
Until Next Time,